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The Gift of Parenthood

The Gift of Parenthood

May 12, 2019, by barry ng

Parenthood is a gift of a new life, a responsibility that you will have to undertake for the rest of your life. It is also known as one of the most challenging and yet most rewarding experiences to be a parent. Being mentally and physically ready is something you really need to be mindful of.


SACRIFICE MUST BE MADE

Think about all the leisure activities you once had. You were able to take some time off and go for a quick getaway, go for a nice pampering spa session, the financial ability to buy the latest gizmo and gadgets, or even had the option to binge-watching all day.

As a parent now, I guess chances are (very) limited now. But don’t worry, there are still pockets of time that you can tap on, especially when they are asleep. But, do get sufficient rest so you have the energy to take care of your kids. So many people I knew could only tell me to treasure the time spent with your children because you cannot turn time back. The best part of this irony is when you do something alone, you kind of feel empty without your children.

Parenthood is a gift of life.

YOU ARE THEIR FIRST ROLE MODELS

Your child is like a thirsty sponge. He/she is constantly developing and absorbing things that are occurring within the environment. They repeat whatever words that you say, mimic your actions that you were doing. They can’t differentiate between right or wrong, let alone understanding whatever values or beliefs that you are imposing on them. Mine climbs into the bathtub partially clothed, leaves half eaten bread at the corner of the table, plays with toys in a more creative way and even messes around with the cooking utensils. Each time they do something wrongly, be patient with them and impart the right values.

The development of a child is not solely based on his ability to play well in a sport, nor is it on being the top of the class. It’s a healthy blend of cognitive, psychomotor and socio-constructivism. In plain English, our children need a great mix of activities that spark their curiosity together and get their hands dirty doing it. The blend also entails a journey of hardship, failures and joy.

YOUR CHILD NEEDS A MENTOR/COACH

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You’ll never be a parent until your child hates you at least once.

There will be times where your child will fail and you reprimand them for it. But with each mistake, he/she makes, give them a second chance (even a third chance). They might make irrational choices that they couldn’t explain, educate them on the right values is important.

Most importantly, remember the prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until the age of 25. According to the peeps at the Science of Psychotherapy:

The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is the cerebral cortex covering the front part of the frontal lobe. This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviour, personality expression, decision making, and moderating social behaviour.

The Science of Psychotherapy

That explains why we can be a little rebellious when we’re a little younger. It also informs us that we should be mindful of certain behaviours that our child is experiencing, whether it is anger, sadness or even happiness. Be a little more patient, less emotional and it will help you go a long way.

Hope is the most powerful word in the English dictionary. –

Michael Crossland


IT’S A JOINT EFFORT

The importance of teamwork between your spouse and yourself.

Parenting is hardly a one-person affair. It’s a shared responsibility between both. At times, give your spouse a breather when he/she needs it. Even with your spouse helping, you’ll definitely experience some burnout here and there. Don’t expect yourself to achieve everything when you have kids, let alone getting them dressed on time.

You’ll be sinking from time to time, so ask for help if you need it.

If you need additional help, do try to ask for it. And if you are the person people turn to for help, just know that they have a lot of trust in you. They entrusted their loved ones to you for a reason, if you are available, do help them out. As for me, I am thankful to have great support from everyone around me when I was working and studying at the same time. But do remember this from time to time:

It takes a village to raise a kid.

An African proverb

YOUR JOB AHEAD…

You got some stuff to do now…

As a parent, do your part to read up on various areas on how to develop your children and nurture them well. You have a huge responsibility as the first role model that your child looks up to. I recommend you to read up on these:

  • Sleep training (from 9-11 weeks)
  • Behavioural changes in each stage (Especially 1-2 years old)
  • Eating dos and don’t (From 6 Months)
  • Playing with your child( what activities according to the age groups

And your to-do list includes:

 

barry ng

It's easy to teach, but difficult to enforce. My objectives are to ensure learning occurs and is infused into the mind of the learner.

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